"I feel silly complaining about this. A lot of people have it worse than me."
"I shouldn't feel like this, I should know better".
"I feel awful for feeling this way."
“I don’t know why I feel like this about it. It wasn’t that bad.”
I hear statements like this often in therapy sessions.
Essential to my role as a therapist is to express recognition, acceptance, and understanding of my client’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. For individuals who have consistently had their inner and outer experiences diminished or outright denied, the act of validation provides a corrective emotional experience that is deeply cathartic and healing. By providing validation to my clients, space is made for them to validate their own emotions and experiences.
Here's the thing--
Perspective is subjective. How your brain processes and responds to an experience, and the emotions that are generated as a result, is determined by a variety of factors that are unique to you.
In summary,
No one, except you, can determine how an experience emotionally impacts you.
Thus, your feelings are valid because you feel them.
And you have a right to feel how you feel—without judgement.
As a therapist trained in cognitive behavioral therapy—a treatment approach that explores the relationship between thoughts, emotions, and behaviors with the goal to recognize and alter self-defeating thought and behavior patterns—I often prompt inquiry of why emotions are triggered.
However, it is possible to seek understanding of our emotions without dismissing or minimizing them.
As a holistic therapist, I believe that the mind and body are one. Suppression of our emotions (mental states) result in suppression of our immune system and other critical bodily processes and functions, which can manifest as disease and chronic illness.
Contrary to popular belief, there are no good or bad emotions.
All emotions are messengers and guides.
When we acknowledge and accept our emotions, we allow them to share their wisdom with us and to guide us into self-understanding and wholeness.
When we listen to our emotions, we allow them to go through their natural cycle instead of keeping them stuck and festering inside, which promotes emotional regulation and balance.
When we honor our emotions, a deeper connection with Self is fostered.
Self-acceptance begins with accepting our emotions—
As we practice self-acceptance and self-love through emotional validation, we are empowered to respond to our needs and to seek care so we can engage with life as whole and healthy beings.
Thank-You!❤️